September 2015 archive

Why Size Doesn’t [social media presence, list size, branding, media exposure etc.] Matter?

Proof of concept.

I heard myself say once that “Anyone could turn their passion into a business.” It was at an event I was hosting and I wanted to bite my tongue.

It’s not exactly true… Anyone can connect their passion to their business – but your passion alone won’t make you successful.

A business, by definition, creates a product or service that people are willing to pay for. And usually, they are willing to pay to have a problem solved.

One of my businesses is The Rinsemate. It costs $19.95 and it solves a problem: people who don’t have disposals don’t have to dig the gross bits of food out of their kitchen sink.

WISE creates a solution for women leaders and entrepreneurs to create wealth doing work that they love. Their problem (and maybe yours) is not being profitable or having to compromise themselves to be profitable.

What I love about business is that there are a gazillion strategies, business models and marketing approaches to creating success. Basically, there are infinite approaches that I’m going to boil down for you in this basic way: (more…)

In Search of Her

12029113_10206724853033586_1570536069_nIt occurred to me recently that I’ve been on a two-year quest.

I didn’t set out in any intentional way or have any intentional goal.

But here I am. Two years in to diving into the feminine.

What’s funny is I was a total girly-girly girl.

There wasn’t a scrap of tomboy in me. I was a ballerina-head who squealed if the ball came toward her at recess and was typically picked second-to last when that awful time came to play dodge-ball at recess. (the sweet boy with cerebral palsy got picked after me).

In high school I was deeply connected to HER. I remember educating my circle of friends to “turn on their light” (wow, I was wiser than I give credit) so that the cute boys in the bar we fake ID’d ourselves into would come over. We’d start to giggle and I would tune into my energy and poof…

That shit worked.

But then I became a mom. And the best thing that ever happened to me made me believe that I had to put HER away.

Good mothers do not turn on their light, they shine it on their children.

(more…)

The Problem with Signs from the Universe

Once I was in love with a boy who was NOT good for me.

But I loved him. I journaled my angst for hours on end and picked daisy’s to pluck their innocent petals. As if that daisy had the answers.

“Please God, just give me a sign!! Something to let me know that HE is the ONE,” as I strolled the beach communing with nature.

stones in the oceanI looked down and there was a perfectly heart-shaped rock. A SIGN!

I went back to that boy only to have my heart smashed to smithereens.

In retrospect the Universe had been giving me plenty of signs. Not calling me back for days. Flirting with other girls. Ignoring me at parties only to grab be at the end of the night and soothe my ache by grabbing the sides of my face, tilting my head to the left and kissing me in a way that left no doubt to where I’d be spending the rest of the night.

But, as we do, I saw what I wanted to see.

And that, my love, is the problem with signs.

I speak to women every day. Women with powerful work and big dreams. Amazing women.

And because I tend to attract the seekers, the energy readers, the entrepreneurial trailblazers who are committed to building businesses in alignment with their Truth, the topic of SIGNS comes up quite a bit.

I’ve learned to never argue with someone’s sighs – they are rather inarguable. What I know inside though, is that they are often suspect.

We see what we want to see. When you are ready and committed to doing whatever it takes to create new results in our life, we see signs that it is TIME.

These signs are very internal. They can vary from moderate to serious discomfort. And the discomfort of our current default reality can be seen for what it is – but often just for a fleeting moment.

We recognize that we are playing it safe and staying small. We recognize that we haven’t been taking 100% responsibility for our outcomes. We know that we want a life that goes beyond the status quo, where we are taught that compromise and settling are just a necessary aspect of life.

We decide to make a change. To take our business to the next level… get out there… make it happen…. and yes, make some serious money.  hello universe

We know that what we’ve been doing isn’t working and that we need help. There is a beautiful moment where humility meets hope.

And then, sometimes, our sneaky, tricky and quite convincing Ego gets ahold of the idea that we’re about to make some BIG changes in our life…

And that little trickster puts up a filter through which we begin to interpret signs.

These signs are often external. The pain we were feeling in our default reality has quieted a bit, and the familiar discomfort of our current circumstances begin to not look so bad.

Maybe we get a little candy from our ego just to make things look a little brighter, just like that knee-weakening kiss I’d get at the end of the night… Or we talk to a dear friend, who shares her own fear (innocently of course) and arm and arm we stay right where we are together. Waiting for….

Yup. A Sign.

And to validate our backing away from the edge of the bungie platform, we start to see them. A hawk that was flying from right to left, a roadside church sign that suggests that desire is the devils temptation, an angel card that says it’s time to lay fallow.

The heart-shaped rock on the beach.

I don’t care how much work you’ve done the ego does not go down without an epic fight. Some of the biggest Ego’s I’ve ever met are people who preach how they lack Ego on Very. Big. Stages.

In my experience the only way around is though. To feel afraid of taking the risk, the leap, the plunge… To fully be in the “this could be the worst decision I ever made in my life”… To see that there is a HUGE risk of failure…

And then to do the thing anyway.

beach treasuresAnd then to do it again. Sometimes meeting success. Sometimes meeting failure. I’ve actually come to believe that the failures are far more powerful.

When you fail, and you’re still standing, and your husband and children still love you – your Mama too, and there’s still a house over your head, and food on your table… is when your Ego puts her tail between her legs and goes and sits quietly in the corner. (Can you tell I’ve lived through THIS – about a dozen times).

You see love, the Universe is always giving you signs. They are ideas. They are inspiration. They are expansion. And when we ignore them for too long, they are discomfort, heartbreak, struggle, and pain.

The choices we make about the Signs and whether or not we allow our Ego to do her thing with them… that’s on us.

So Much Love, 

Kiva